I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
