it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
