Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
