Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
