they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
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she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
its liver damage thursday
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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