I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Me too!
I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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