She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
