8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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