If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize