if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
