***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary