You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
vagina is talking i cant
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
