I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.