either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I love having hate sex.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
