there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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