real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
