I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
