So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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