you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
