Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
