Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
