my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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