so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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