Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
