Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
