i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
