My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
