I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
