how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
