the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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