Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
