I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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