after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
