do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
