Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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