At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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