i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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