sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
