Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
