I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
