I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
