Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A+ Viking dick
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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