Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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