it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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