Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
These tits shall not be calmed
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
