That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize