hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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