Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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