Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
