i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
