Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
