Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
