you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
whose ass print is on the piano?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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