Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
