At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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