If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
