I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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