Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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