i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
