bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
