You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
