i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize