Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize