I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
