Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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