Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
