Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
