Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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