Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.

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(678): View more from Georgia

so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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(540): View more from Virginia

She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.

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(810): View more from Michigan

There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

That's a hard toss up

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear

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(562): View more from California

The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.

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(765): View more from Indiana

That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis

(1-765): View more from Indiana

Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced

(1-765): View more from Indiana

and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!

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