With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
