I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
