Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
